Monday, March 5, 2018

Visual Evidence: Killer Promo Photos

I love band photos, especially the photos bands use to promote themselves during an album release.  What follows is a current crop of promo photos for bands that have upcoming or just-released titles. Gorge yourselves!

INHUMANKIND (awesome, but also ridiculous, like every photo of Immortal ever)

VOMITOR (who are always both amusing and bleeding that old spirit)


SUMMON (Portugal, not Michigan)

VAHRZAW (If you're going to take photos in the woods, this is how - different!)

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Coroner's Report: Nekro Drunkz (August 2016)

This interview was conducted with Disgustor of Nekro Drunkz shortly after the release of their album "Lavatory Carnage" on Headsplit and Moribund Cult. It had been slated for the first issue of Crypt of Corruption that never happened. Here's what the coroner's report had to say on the matter:

AP: Greetings! Introduce yourself and your bandmates, and let us know what a normal day in the life of NekroDrunkz is like!

Disgustor: Hey ya wretched writhing hogwash drunk ass fukkers!!!!! It is I, Disgustor (drums and vocals) here rambling about nothing AND everything! Crystal Seth (guitars and vocals) is currently indisposed due to a freak accident during this new sex pill experiment trial. These big name pharmaceutical companies, they pay him the big bucks to try all their hottest new boner pills, and really just go to town on a wench. It's a great way to make a living but risky as well, similar to coal mining or commercial crabbing! Plus I get some sweet kick downs as well, my old lady ain't complaining, I'll tell ya! Anyhow, we wake up at the crack of noon and just go about day to day life. Screaming at the elderly, shitting in the streets, mass alcohol consumption, and writing new death grinding mayhem and filth! Oh yeah, and we try to stay up to date on the best porno videos from E-Fukt and other idiotic and erotic sites! P.S., I think I just shit my pants...

The song titles are amazing and hilarious ("Mummified in Pubic Hair," "Knocked Out, Knocked Up," etc.) . Who writes your lyrics and how do you summon all this excellent perversity?

Thanks ya bastard! I mean, you aren't supposed to like this garbage, but thank you! Most of these songs are based on reality in one way or another, so all you triggered babies out there, save your fukkin crying tissues, use em for jackin off instead, numb nuts! Crystal Seth wrote both those songs. "Mummified..." is about his final wishes, to be mummified in an old ladies wiry pubic hair after he has died. Gotta respect the little twerp. I, myself, hope to have my ashes inserted to the anus of a hot woman, or several hot women! ("Crematory Suppository" it's copywritten you assholes!!) "Knocked Out, Knocked Up" is a story about his parents and how he himself was conceived. Romantic, yes? No? Fukk?!

In all seriousness, do you have any releases on the horizon that the fans need to know about?

Yes we do. Our newest album "Lavatory Carnage" is out now on cassette from Headsplit Records and CD from Moribund Records. I'm gonna try like fukkin hell to get it on 10" vinyl as well. Perfect for frisbee-ing happy go lucky type people right in the goddamn neck! Got a few split 7" vinyls on the horizon as well one with The Mentors and one with Schnauzer. RIP to two of metals greatest drummer/vocalist/performers! The world sucks ass without El Duce and Jim Konya!

How do I get laid on the first date?

I would advise just whipping your dick out. If she moans and groans and grabs it... Well it's gonna be a good night. If she is repulsed and vomits on sight, jack it like crazy and shoot a load on her pants leg, like those creeps that hang out in the clothes racks at deparment stores! She may be impressed with your jizz load and choose to pick you up in her arms, take ya home, bang you , and cook ya meals for the rest of your life! Hell, if that doesn't work just go hump a corpse in the morgue!!! 

Give me a great reason to buy any Nekro Drunkz release.

We guarantee our music will lower your IQ level!!!!! 

Do you believe in traditional gender roles?

People can do whatever crazy shit they want. Personally, I'm offended that people aren't advocating more for human to animal genital reassignment surgeries. It's a real travesty! I mean, there's tons of people out there, like some of your readers for example, who want to be rid of their human penises to get any variety of animal dong attached. Donkey, dog, rat, dolphin, etc. We can only hope that the next President of America will advocate for this pressing matter. Thank you. 

Misogyny - hate crime or fetish?

Both? Who can say? But, we love women I'll tell ya that much! Mm mm!!!

Is the proliferation of liquor stores and drugs a symptom of societal ills or a cause?

Buuuuuurrrrrp!!!! Hey if everyone's complaining about drugs and liquor, just send it all our way. We will take care of it!!! There can never be enough liquor or drugs. As old El Duce would say - "Up The Dose Baby"!!!!! 

Jack shack or glory hole?

Jack shack for sure! Ya never know if there is some maniac on the other side of that glory hole with a small guillotine to cut your filthy penis off!!! Where we are from, Portland, Oregon, there's a jack shack on every corner! Lots of sexual perversion here, even though all the wimpy shoe gaze black metal bands try to stifle and deny it!

If the internet was a real place, where would you live?

Probably in a nice cardboard condo on the corner of Donkey Show Avenue and Gianna Michaels/Lisa Ann Boulevard! Dicks out for Harambe.

Who is the patron saint of porn?

Changes all the time, but current favorite is Kendra Lust I reckon!

Any final comments, whimperings, or rants, add them below!

Shitty anus poop butt , nasty piss rot cunt!!! Say that three times fast and a toilet demon will rise from the septic tank and kill you and everyone you love! Fukk all the fake new comers in metal! Fukk trend jumpers and scene tourists! Don't let all the PC internet goons tell you how to think or what to like, make up your own fukkin mind!!!! Buy our album "Lavatory Carnage"! Lose your mind and your bowels! Send any questions, insults or to

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

The Return

Depression is a real bitch. I suppose quite a few of you have wondered where I've been. I just dropped off the map. No social media, no emails, nothing. Well, clinical depression + life = no time for this shit, whether web-based or print-based. I dropped the idea of completing a fanzine long ago. I don't have the energy to do it. I will intermittently publish interviews or reviews on Twenty Red Nails only. Being a fan of this music is all I want to really do right now. Maybe I'll ramp it up again some day. Maybe I won't. I will try to publish the interviews I did already in this space. I know it's not print, but the bands involved deserve promotion. I will not be participating in Facebook any longer, either. It pisses me off. It's a time burglar. If you need to get in contact, email me.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Steel Bearing Hand "Steel Bearing Hand" 2015 Razorback Recordings

Crawling out of the swampy graveyards of Dallas, Texas comes Steel Bearing Hand and their brand of thrashing death metal. At times, the band has riffs that remind me of NunSlaughter, Whiplash, Autopsy, Incantation, and Razor, but it all becomes a killer musical alloy after it's mixed together and enough brutality is applied, creating an excellent old-school death metal whole. The sword and sorcery lyrical bent is a welcome change from the typical Satan and gore fixation that death metal has always had. I know those topics are metal tradition at this point but sometimes a break from it is necessary. I'm eager to hear more from this band based on the strength of this album. I'm not sure how interested I am in 8 or 9 minute songs, really, but these held my interest well enough this time around. The band jumps from strength to strength in such a way that I didn't seem to notice the length of time, where usually songs that long are a huge negative for me. Overall, this is a good debut record, and I'll be interested in seeing what comes next from this Texas outfit. And as a fan of old sword and sorcery stories, keep up the good work in the lyrical department!

Thursday, July 14, 2016

VHS "Screaming Mad Gore" 2016 Splatter Zombie Records

This is such a good year for death metal. Surgikill, Embalmer, Torture Rack, Smut, and so many others have given us excellent albums, and they just keep coming. The analog-horror-obsessed VHS is one of my favorite bands going right now, and I purposely held off on this review after I found out about a tape version being released through Sulfuric Diarrhea Records (hand numbered, limited to 50, so act quickly and get ahold of the band because they're basically gone). The tape lives up to my lo-fi expectations, giving the album a dirty sound that adds another layer of filth to the tunes, at least in my garbage stereo. As far as the music itself, VHS has further refined their thrash/death/grind amalgam, and here and there throughout the record the listener will find doom and traditional heavy metal welded to this steel beast as well. The songs are short, catchy, well-written, and vicious. Everything is tight, well-performed, and audible, but not over produced and robotic like so many death metal albums today. It has an old-school sounding production job, and I prefer this. My personal favorites are "Room 36," "When Sleeping Bag Meets Tree," "There Shall Be Nights of Terror," "Island of Death," and "Carnivorous Lunar Activities." As if a full-length from VHS wasn't enough to get your gore glands pulsating, there are some guest appearances here that will titillate and thrill as well, including the likes of Kam Lee and Stevo lending vocal flourishes to the tracks "Hairspray and Bloodspray" and "Island of Death," respectively. How's that for pedigree? I'm warning you, death metal scene, pay attention to VHS. They're one of the best out there right now doing horror-influenced metal, and for the old-school freaks like me, they're a welcome noise in a polluted scene. 

Atrocious Abnormality "Formed in Disgust" 2016 Comatose Music

Atrocious Abnormality have returned after most of a decade to bring us their second album, which is in every possible way an improvement on their previous material. I remember being very bored by their first record (so much so that I almost didn't listen to this) but I was not bored during this one. This is brutal death metal of very high quality, played in the style that Comatose Records is known for signing, complete with harmonic squeals from the guitars, relentless blasts, and the rest of the trappings commonplace in the genre. There are no pig squeals, thankfully, just very deep gutturals (which are extremely impressive, as someone who is familiar with how these sounds are made by the human throat), blasting drums that are set to automatic fire, and rhythmic guitar work that rounds out the sound with excellent tone. The bass, when audible, is very busy, and there's a ton of talent across the range of instruments. This material is on the level with bands like Gorgasm, Fleshgrind, or other masters of this style, and that's a huge compliment coming from me, since I am extremely selective when it comes to brutal death metal. So much of it is so similar that when a band sticks out I take notice. This isn't a nuclear bomb that will upset the brutal death metal ecosystem, but it's definitely a sledgehammer to the face that proves this style can still be done with class and conviction. 

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Surgikill "Sanguinary Revelations" 2016 FDA Rekotz

Hot on the heels of a well-received promo tape that was belched forth from the deepest of graves late last year, Surgikill has returned with a monolithic record, Sanguinary Revelations. It descended on my eardrums via the CD from FDA Rekotz, and soon to come, the vinyl from Hells Headbangers. The crew split heads once again here, delivering original-sounding death metal that drips with horror movie influence of the best kind. The guitar sound is vicious and heavy. The multi-vocal assault is well-planned yet still chaotic, and it fits the mood perfectly. This feels like a whole record by the time the listener is finished with the last track - it begins well and ends well, and the stuff in the middle is far from boring. It feels almost like a complete story, and is a very satisfying and mature-sounding album. This one shambles right up next to Embalmer and Torture Rack as a contender for best death metal album I've heard in the last year. There are zero weaknesses here. I will not waste your time talking about this record any more, dear reader. If you call yourself a death metal fan and don't get this release, you might as well pack your shit and quit death metal altogether, because you've lost touch with what made this music great.